a friend of mine texts like 5 messages in an instant and it’s seriously disorienting to me and i told him to stop texting so fast and he responded with a flurry of messages imitating a computer rebooting, totalling 23 messages, and then finally started texting normal

for like an hour though. he’s been doing the fast texting again and it’s just too much for me idk it’s stressing me out bad

i don’t wanna block his number but having to mute my phone is bad because if family texts me or calls me i won’t know

my family loves saying shit like “oh were worried you have anxiety!” or “you might need a therapist if this keeps up,” but
1. they always say it as a threat when im agitated or having a meltdown
2. when i do have a meltdown they always get mad at me for having it
3. they act as if my whole entire demeanor and attitude is a huge problem, and while i do admit that i can get hung up on negative stuff, i tend to bounce back quick
but they always treat me like i just spat on them when im tired/sick and sound down as a result, and they get mad at ME for not specifying that i am tired/sick??? then they act like, “OH WE DONT WANNA HANG AROUND YOU IF YOU ACT LIKE THIS” like cmon
my brother thinks he should be able to call me a f***** for being pan and my mom takes everytime i trust her with a, “im having trouble with people at school”, so far and only one time, turning a “kids were being bigoted” into “OH YOURE JUST SENSITIVE AND CANT STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE DISAGREE WITH YOU” like goddamn
my family is better than most but they just end up treating me like i dont know shit, and criticize me everytime i work or try to help them, then wonder why i feel worthless so much of the time
they blame all my problems on me being online rather than themselves for pushing me to find a group of people who actually like. tolerate me

is it fucked up that i dont feel anything. like not happiness not pain just nothing in the purest form. maybe im tired kinda
its just
my mom’s sniffling and my dad is trying to cover it up with jokes but i saw him shaking before and just
i didnt even meet the deceased but i know their son/daughter-in law and im close to that part of the family and just
im feeling numb just thinking about this